DEAR Joe,
For  four years,  trying to believe that the love I know is true, I have been the to-good-to-be-true girlfriend a man could ask for.
Until one fine evening, in the middle of a not-so-formal dinner,  he blurted out the words “Will you marry me?”  At first my heart was pounding with joy and excitement. Looking how perfectly the diamond ring fits on my finger. It feels like everything was falling into place. The man I  love was already asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. Everything was happening just as expected. Of course, I said yes to his proposal. It’s like he owns half of my life already.

My boyfriend  is a very responsible man. So, there’s no doubt that he can be a good provider. He showered me with gifts and all the material things a girl of my age would want to have. He is sweet and I’m sure that he loves me. But, I’m just not sure if he loves me that much. I have been  trying to convince myself that he is the one. 
Although my friends and  close relatives would tell me that he’s not good enough for me, I still remained blinded by my feelings for him.
I’ve been cheated thrice in our relationship  but I still accepted him and convinced myself that I’m still the one he loves.
He even left me once, when he thought that he was already falling in love with another woman. In the end, he went back to me and I immediately accepted him with open arms.
There was this one time when a close colleague asked me “What was the sweetest thing your boyfriend has done to you?” Believe it or not, until now, I still have not answered that. Joe, they say in a relationship there are three main ingredients—respect, trust and love. In my relationship there’s only love. The two other ingredients are missing. I do try to trust him despite of the fact that he has cheated on me.

Then, I realized that love isn’t enough to make a relationship survive. There are more things to consider than love alone.
Now, I woke up from my dream realizing that I want more.  I needed more respect, attention and care. I want someone who’ll give me his last piece of his favorite bar of chocolate when I want one. I want somebody who’ll stop me from drinking hard and smoking too much and actually do something about it. I want somebody who’ll take care of me when I can’t stand up from bed because of fever. I want somebody who can  pick me up if I get stranded at Edsa. I want somebody who reminds me to eat my lunch and makes sure that I went home safe. I want somebody who whispers the three magic words before I retire at night. I want somebody who’ll put his arms around me whenever I feel like crying. Above all I want somebody who’ll kiss me and assure me that everything is going to  be all right.

These, I have realized after so many years of being blinded by what I thought was love.  It took me millions of tears and hundreds of heartaches before I saw the truth beyond the lies. I may have wasted four years but I will not regret it for without that four years I would not have seen my worth.

Joe, our  wedding is off and my relationship has ended. It  hurts to let go of someone you have believed and loved for such a long time. I spent sleepless nights and oftentimes wake up with stains of my tears on my pillow, but deep in my heart I know that this is the best way  to truly find myself.
Before,  I was scared to be alone but now I know that being alone doesn’t make me less of a person. I hope this thought will carry me through this pain until I find the  true love that I thought I lost but never really had.

Sincerely ,
ALLYNA