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DEAR Joe,
Hello there,  I’m an 18 year old student studying in one of the colleges here in  Makati. I just have to tell you what’s going on in my mind. Please  help me. I simply can’t get the logic of love. It’s like your in a world of happiness and bliss but also in a world which is filled with pain!  How come when you love someone it always has to end? Even if  you feel that it won’t, sooner or later it will end whether you like  or not.

I’ve been in love several times and I’m not so proud to say that every time I fall in love , I always get hurt . It really sucks! I kept on asking myself  if I really deserve this. Joe , I  promised myself never to fall in love again! But I never realized that I would break that promise as quickly as I made it.

Yes, I have fallen in love again! I should be glad I did but somehow I knew it is pain I would be feeling again! I tried to blame myself and my foolish heart. Joe, I fell in love with my friend. We met during my freshmen year and he didn’t mean anything to me before because I was busy with someone else and I also knew that he still has a girlfriend. But, fate  brought us  closer. I  felt nothing special for him  but when I got caught up with his sweet motives I started to feel differently towards him. My friends warned me of what I was getting myself into but you know, Joe, how it is when you are blinded by love. We would even joke around that I already love him and he would say that he already knows.

Joe, I was  shocked when he told me one night that he’s in love with  my  friend. I really didn’t know how to react to his confession. I felt so little, I felt so betrayed,  I wanted to shrink and  blame myself for being so stupid. Why didn’t I see it coming, why?

The pain I felt wasn’t just  emotional but it seems that I could feel it coming from the outside.  I had to cry that night but I can’t.  The tears took over when I realized I was all alone again , rejected  and punished for showing someone that I love him. I’m afraid of letting him know that what I told him was not a joke. I can’t say that the feeling wasn’t great. Honestly, I really wanted to love, I wanted to embrace it myself. What bothers me the most is for the nth time I have fallen for the wrong person again.... I would be able to get an award as the world’s stupidest person for falling  in love!

Joe, love can be so confusing, it has the ability to lift you up but it could also put your spirit down to hell!! I could curse every person I fell in love with  but I realized what good does it do? Right now it hurts so bad but I can’t seem to  decide on what to do  to get myself out of this mess! I’m regretting everything I have done. I don’t know what to do because , right now,  love is not just what’s important to me but our friendship as well.

Please help me figure out  what to do .Please spend some time reading my letter, it would really be great  to hear from you.
Yours truly,
LJ
Sometimes, it really makes us wonder why the people we like only as friends are the ones who show interest in us and those we like  treat us only as friends. Why can’t we just like somebody who would also feel the same way for us?  LJ, it doesn’t always happen that way and that is the reason why people who fall in love get hurt. They allow themselves to get emotionally attached to a person and they begin to expect  that they would be treated differently from the others. 

But, the fact is, more often than not we would be attracted to a person who probably wound want to have us only as a friend and nothing more. There could be nothing wrong with this but the thing is, it is sometimes hard to interpret the meaning of  one’s actions.

The problem lies on  the fact that we have special feelings for that person and most of the time, we  put so much meaning to the way he treats us when the truth is we are just friends. We usually go one step ahead of the real relationship that  and  begin to expect  something beautiful from it.
Then, we get disappointed  when we realize that there were no special feelings after all. It was simply a story of a great friendship.

LJ, the truth hurts but it is the only thing that could set us free. If your friendship means a lot to you then,  you just have to accept the fact  that you should not entertain romantic feelings for him.  You have to treat him only as a friend and nothing more. I don’t see anything wrong in telling him how you really feel but don’t expect anything  in return and don’t make him feel obliged to acknowledge it. Just let him know so you can finally be at peace with your self.   Let us always remember that every tear of sadness  that we shed for a person we love is a capsule of memory that we have to leave behind. We fall in love  so that we  will learn , we get hurt so that we will become strong, and we cry so that we can let go and find our place in the life of someone who will love us the way  we want to be loved.      
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