Dear Joe,

My family wants me to go to the States to work there so they set me up with Ian. They arranged a wedding for us, with no strings attached of course, because Ian is my Auntie Rebecca’s boyfriend. The wedding will just be on paper, nothing more. At first I was hesitant. I don’t want to be tied up with  someone I don’t love and don’t even know . But since I can’t argue with my family, I finally agreed to the plan. It wasn’t “true marriage” after all, because there was no love involved. Ian and I exchanged e-mails with each other, I opened up my fears and doubts to him. I even told him about my past relationships .

Joe, My problem started when  he came to the Philippines for our marriage. I didn’t know what and how it happened, Ian and I just found ourselves falling for each other. It seemed that we have known each other for so long. We have a lot in common. It felt like fate had brought us together to complete each other’s missing piece. I can’t explain that first kiss I had with him after exchanging our marriage vows. I just felt that I’m finally home. And I could see that he is feeling the same way too. When no one is looking, he will steal kisses from me, we will hold each other’s hand and from the corner of our eyes, we’ll look at each other and smile. It was a wonderful feeling. I never thought I could be this happy.
He stayed here in the Philippines only for a week. My Auntie Rebecca called him  right after our marriage and told Ian to go back there as soon as he can. She checked on him once in a while. It seems that she’s afraid that something intimate might happen between her boyfriend and me. To tell you the truth, nothing that “intimate” (like Auntie Rebecca is thinking), happened. Ian is the perfect gentleman.
I really missed him when he returned to the States. He sends me text messages and e-mails every now and then, sometimes just to let me know he is thinking of me. He told me, he too was surprised of what he was feeling. We didn’t expect that we will fall for each other. Everything about us has been planned out—our meeting, our marriage and all - everything.. except  falling in love.
It was so hard Joe since at that time, he was still in a relationship with Auntie Rebecca though he told me that their relationship is currently on the rocks. Ian told me that he had really loved my Auntie Rebecca, but he now realized that she didn’t really love him. He told me that he used to do everything for Auntie Rebecca, everything that she tells him to do. He was like a servant. He didn’t realized that until he met me and learned that he could be loved the way he deserves to be loved. He said it was only me who have let him feel that he is worth loving and he is indeed special.
At first, Ian planned to take things slowly. He was so considerate of Auntie’s feelings and he doesn’t want to hurt her. After a few exchange of e-mails, he finally decided to break-up with Auntie Rebecca and told her about his feelings for me. I really didn’t know how to explain it to her. She e-mailed me back telling me how hurt she is, and that if I will take Ian away from her,  she will cut me off  from the  family. She told me she felt betrayed. All she wanted was to help me .
Joe, I am also hurting. You know I never wanted this to happen.  I didn’t want this marriage to take place. But it did, and the unexpected happened: I fell in love with my husband. Others won’t see anything wrong with it. After all, we’re married. The only problem is, my husband is also my Auntie’s boyfriend.
Tell me what to do, Joe. I told Ian I am willing to let him go, that he really belongs to my Auntie. But Ian had already made a choice. And he has chosen me. He asked me to fight for us, and that’s what I’m doing now. I already told my parents about this, and they are on our side. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone.
Am I doing the right thing, Joe? How can I face Auntie Rebecca? It hurts me that I have to do this to her. I respect her and I know she deserves to be happy too. But I love Ian so much. And he loves me. Do you think our love is worth fighting for? I believe it is.

MAREANNE


It must have been really hard for your aunt Rebecca to accept the fact that  her good intentions earned her the opposite result.  What she feels right now is valid and  I don’t think anyone would want  to feel  betrayed.It would have been better if she weighed the possible consequences of letting her boyfriend marry you even just on paper.

I don’t think it was your fault that you and Ian fell in love with each other.  You were very vulnerable to fall in love because you  actually  exchanged your vows  in a real martimony.  The connection that you and Ian have transcended what was supposed to be just fixed marriage to something so real that you actually fell in love with each other.

Mereanne, sometimes we find permanence in what other people lose. Your aunt lost Ian to you. But I guess it was destined to happen and no matter how sorry you feel, that wouldn’t  change the fact that you and Ian are in love with each other.

Tell you Aunt that you feel sorry that this had to happen and tell her that you honestly never had any intention of hurting her feelings. God knows what  is in your heart and let Him and no one else judge you for what you have done or failed to do. Rebecca can curse you all her life but  that is something that she has to deal with herself.
This is your time. If you really love Ian  then let that love be worth fighting for.  There is a time and a season for everything. This is your time. Be thankful that you had been blessed with the gift of true love. And always remember  that sometimes the opportunity  to be with a person we love  comes only once in lifetime. Don’t miss this chance . It might not come again.