DEAR Joe,

I am one of your consistent  listeners, and I love your advice so much. Now, I need your help.

Joe, I, belong to a middle class Chinese family, and we have a business here in the Philippines. I am the only girl in my family, so my parents are very, very strict to me. Because of this,  I began to hate guys.

I just played around and was never serious to any of them.  Until I met him. He was our employee. He is very good looking and has a great sense of humor. “Crush ng campus,” we often called him, because many girls have a crush on him. They even fight over him.

Joe, I never thought I will fall for him. When I first met him, he smiled and began talking to me. I feel happy and comfortable when I’m with him, but I was always afraid that he might lose his job because of me.

We had a party in our house last September. My parents were not at home, so I had to entertain my guests. That night, we drank and had fun, but the hard part for me was having to run  here and there, from one group to another.

When I was with his group,  I dipped my finger on the glass of beer I was holding and tasted it. Hindi naman ako mahinang uminom, I even drink more than my parents. I haven’t drunk for a long time and I almost forgot how it tastes. When he saw me, he grabbed my finger and put it in his mouth. I felt funny when he was doing that and I knew  that he was interested in me.

When the party was over, he stayed and helped me clean up. Then he whispered to me “I love you.” I laughed and said “Loko! Lasing ka noh! At hindi ka ba natatakot sa mangyari sa’yo?” He just smiled and said he was, but because he loves me, he was more afraid of losing me than  losing his job.

I was just thinking this is another game that I can play, so I said I loved him too.

My little game continued the next day and the days that followed. I never thought that I would really fall for him. He was sweet, caring and loving. He changed me and everything I believed in. I fell deeply in love with him, Joe.

Months have passed and we have been sailing smoothly. But,  secrets can’t be kept forever. My mom was furious and even slapped me in front of him when she found out. Since then we never talked again.

Joe, I know I have hurt him. I also know that I love him. But what should I do? Should I give up? Or should I fight for our  love? Joe, I really, really love him. Thank you so much, Joe.

Sincerly yours,
Abbie

ABBIE,

There are times when love would call us to stand for something we believe in spite of all the things around us that are against it. The call of love is the call for courage and determination. Sometimes it even calls for a choice between two things that are equally important to us. Who to choose and who to turn our backs on depend on how much we are willing to risk.

Abbie, if falling in love with an employee is wrong then life is unjust. True love doesn’t look at the world like there is a heaven and an earth. All is just fair. No one should be above or below anybody else. Everyone is equal. That’s how love looks at things. 

But it is sad that many of us carry a measuring cup and judge people by what they don’t have  and who they are not rather than  what they can actually become. Abbie, your parents have their reasons for their rules on love and relationships. We all should respect that. But at the end of the day, it will be you and just you alone who should make that decision on who to choose to spend the rest of your life with.

Love should never be a choice made by others for us. A relationship is something that we should be willingly getting into or getting out of. It is true that there will always be a risk when we make our own decisions. But it is all part of  life. Those who enjoy life are those who are not afraid to take the risks. Those who succeed are those who make their own decisions and responsibly stand by them.
 
Abbie, love is a choice and it is one that not anyone else but you have to make. Ask yourself if you are ready to take that step. If you are not then it simply means that you are not prepared to love yet. Because those who find lasting happiness  are not  the ones who fear the consequence of loving a person but the  ones who bravely  face the challenge of  that love.