Dearest Joe,

They say, God punishes us for our bad deeds. But I couldn’t believe that God delights in our misery.

I was never the kindest of people— never acknowledged authority, never bit my tongue back. Then I did, when I met him and fell for him. For a year and five months, he was mine. Then, he broke up with me. We tried again after I asked him to but we just drifted away. Maybe, we weren’t just meant to be.

During those years, we’ve become the best of friends. Every week in those six years, we’d see each other. He was there, not only for me but for my family as well. We kissed each other, and always ended up in bed. I didn’t feel secure, yes. But I thought, whatever I could have then, I’d grab it, and treasure it because I don’t know how long he’ll be mine.

Then, he graduated from school and I was afraid that he’d find someone else when he gets a job. Last January he was accepted in a firm. I was happy for him. I didn’t put any malice when he started mentioning this girl’s name. He’s never lied to me before. And once, I made him promise to tell me if he finds someone else.

Then, for the first time since we’ve been together, he failed to see me for almost three months, and he rarely called. Then, he admitted, he was having a mutual understanding with a co-employee. He said that he planned on telling me about it after I’ve finished school, which is a few days from now. He said he didn’t want to hurt me.

Joe, that time I knew I wasn’t going to die. But I felt like dying. Maybe, dying was better because that’s the time when the pain stops. I said terrible things to him which I still regret up to now, though I’ve apologized to him about it. I hope he knows that I’m really sorry.

I’m not mad, I can’t and I don’t want to be because it’ll just hurt me more. Bitter, yes, and sorry. I want to be really happy for him, he deserves it, more than anyone else. I don’t regret that I loved him. But I wish that it doesn’t have to be this hard and painful.

No one will say that I’m not helping myself, because I’m trying so hard to forget him. I’m trying. But everything reminds me of him, of what I’ve lost. Every memory seems so clear when all I want is to forget them.

They say I’ll be okay. I’ll get over it. That God gives us these trials so we’ll be strong. But Joe, I wake up with the thoughts of him and go through the day thinking of him. And at night, I cry myself to sleep. I’ve lost him and he isn’t coming back. Someone else is holding him now and I wish, I had hugged him and kissed him like there was no more tomorrow left. I wish I had told him, over and over, just how much I love him. Will he ever know?

Was I destined to love the one man who can’t, and who’ll never love me back?  Why did he have to go? Why did I have to fall for him when he’s not going to be mine? Why does love have to hurt this much? Joe, help me please.

Ana



ANNA,

There may be times when we become so miserable and ask ourselves why  God allows us to experience unbearable pain. God  doesn’t delight in our misery.  Pain is god’s way of purifying us and making us  better persons. And when he allows us to experience it, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love us.

Anna, you may have been destined to love the man who cannot love you back but that doesn’t mean that life ends here. You fell in love with a man who cannot be yours but that doesn’t mean there is no one who can be. You have loved and hurt badly  but that doesn’t mean the pain will never  pass.

Everything happens for a reason  and as the saying goes, sometimes, the person who makes us happy is the same person who can hurt us  and make us cry. Anna, it is perfectly alright to feel sorry for  losing him but  you cannot be sorry all your life. It is ok to cry yourself to sleep  at night  but you cannot shed your tears for him forever.. It is ok to think of him when you wake up in the morning but  you cannot let him take control of your  thoughts forever.

I guess you have  been sorry long enough. You have  sown so much regret already.  Its over Anna. You have to accept that there could never be any  “you and I ” anymore . He is gone and has moved on with his life. You have to realize that you should not allow yourself to be left behind following  his shadow. You have to move on and find your own happiness even if it means  not being with him.

Let us always remember that love isn’t love it if doesn’t hurt.  And it is better to  be hurt by love  than  not to be hurt because we  were too  afraid   to love . The only way to move on is to accept reality. And it will help if you let  the pain love has brought you   make you a stronger person and let the tears that you cried  wash away the bitterness and misery in your heart.