DEAR Joe,
There’s this girl that I met almost three years ago when I was in college. I never believed in love at first sight, but I did when I first laid my eyes on her. I saw her standing behind the podium, delivering her speech on a debate contest. She was smart, assertive and beautiful. When the debate was over, I approached her and introduced
myself.

I extended my hand along with my heart to congratulate her, she simply shook her head and walked away. Since then, I’ve been following her around the campus. Later
on, Ferly and I became close friends. I’ve been with her in her best and worst times. I thought that I’m already on my way to the “friends turned lovers” road, but I was wrong. Ferly, for the past three years, have built a wall around her. No matter how close I got, I never knew what’s inside her heart. Then her male best friend from high school came into the picture. When I saw them together in a mall, my world crashed. Ferly looked radiant that day. I saw her smile at him and I noticed that she never smiled at me that way.

Suddenly, I found myself running out of the mall. It was then that I realized that I’m seriously in love with her. She called me that night to tell me what a great day she had. She said Joshua was her long lost friend and he already has a girlfriend. Somehow I felt relieved knowing that he’s taken. They went out constantly and I ended up begging her to give me some of her precious time. I continued to be her loyal friend even though sometimes she’s pushing me away. When Joshua found a new girlfriend, Ferly was shattered. She tried to hide it from me, but somehow, I knew she was hurt.

She came up to me one day and asked me out. I thought this was my chance to prove to her that I can help her mend her heart, but she didn’t give me the chance. She treated me the way she always had—as her friend, no more, no less. I tried to run away from her Joe. I courted other girls, but I always find myself running back to her. I know she doesn’t love me and she never will. My mind is telling me to fool around with other women, but every time I look at her, my heart tells me to be patient and wait until she falls for me too.

Joe, I finally had the gutsto tell her how I feel. She turned me down. She said I’m still, and will always be, her friend. I did everything to win her heart. I even rented an
apartment close to her house so that I’d be able to see her every day. But it didn’t work, she got mad at me and told me that I should get some help, she thought I was obsessed with her. But I’m not Joe, I’m in love with her. When her friend Joshua, married a girl that he dated for barely a month, Ferly, broke down and cried. In between her sobs she told me how she loved him. She looked so devastated, Joe. That moment I wanted to kill that stupid guy, who never saw how special Ferly was. I wanted to tell her that I’m still here waiting for her to love me back, that I’ll never use her and hurt her the way that guy did. Joe, I just want her to love me, but why can’t she? What
more should I do to win her heart? Should I give up on her? Must I look for someone else? Please tell me what to do. Ferly is right. I really need help.

MJ

DEAR MJ,
I admire your persistence in pursuing Ferly and your courage in telling her how you feel. You are one step ahead of many men who just content themselves with the
thought of loving someone without actually letting them know because of fear of being rejected. Ferly was honest with you about how she felt. Even if you confidently believe that you are the perfect man for him, it wouldn’t make much of a difference to her. What she feels for you now is what she really feels. MJ, there is nothing wrong
in loving a person. What makes things difficult is when we begin to expect a return of our emotional and physical investments. You can love Ferly all your life. But if you expect her to love you back then you may just be loving in vain. If I were ou, I would give her some space and give my self a chance to explore the world around
me.

You have been the perfect friend. Don’t let your emotion ruin that. Feelings don’t think, and solid thinking is what we need when they get too strong. Just accept the fact that you can never be more than friends. MJ, move on with your life. You will never lose Ferly for she will always be your friend. Be happy that you have loved her with all your heart. But don’t let your life stop there. Sometimes, love means letting go when you want a person to stay.

Sometimes, we just have to be thankful that we have loved someone even if that person didn’t love us back for it is always better to have loved and failed than not to have experienced it at all.