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Home Features Love Notes An honest wife’s open letter to her husband

An honest wife’s open letter to her husband

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Dear Joe,
I was about to let my husband go, to call it quits.  I wanted to save the little self-esteem I had left.  I believed that my husband didn’t love me anymore because I failed him as a wife. Then I realized that I was about to give up the one thing I hold precious. I was about to turn my back on my one true love. So instead of confessing my marital horror stories, I hope that you will give me a chance to tell the world just how much my husband means to me, whether he still loves me or not.

“It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was real love. I have failed you and you have failed me, so we should really be heading for splitsville. But if that will be the case then nobody should get married because we are all imperfect beings and at one point or another we are sure to  fail. I am still here even if you have kept me waiting for more than 360 hours this month all for nothing, even if you refused to make  love to me, or flatly told me you don’t feel like going to the movies, or texted me at the very least twice these last two months, or did not wish me goodnight and good morning for the nth time. I am still here and I won’t leave unless you ask me to. I loved you then and I love you now. I promised God that I would love and cherish you, just you, for as long as I live. Don’t you remember those words we uttered on the altar, “to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?”  Heaven strike us if we just mumbled out those words without really meaning them.

If there’s someone you hold dear and you think is far more beautiful, funnier, smarter, kinder, and could give you much more amazing and adorable children, then be with her. But please tell me and I will leave because it is your desire to give up on us. I remember begging God to make you come back to me when you decided to go to your ex-girlfriend then. God was convinced that I would help Him give you a good and happy life by loving you.

If you do have a girlfriend now and she can do the same thing, then I’ll bow down and make a graceful exit. I am just wondering if she would still love you when she finds out you have  elephant spots on your (only I know where), or that you make Huang ho rivers out of your night pillows (with the same smell, too)? Are you smiling now? See, I can still make you smile. That’s a sign, I know it. We can still work this out.

You have hurt me countless times. You were insensitive, inconsiderate, indifferent and you have betrayed my trust. But I have done just the same. I am so sorry and I will try to do better but you must be sorry too.

If you happen to read this, kiss me as soon as you step inside the house.   Hug me tightly like you’ve never done before.  Don’t be scared that I might break. You know how strong I am.  Most of all, tell me as sincerely as you can how much you still love me and how badly you’ve been wanting this chance to patch things up because you can’t live without me.

I love you so much.  As I end this silly letter of mine, let me remind you of  two youthful individuals who once felt wonderfully good to be with each other.  How I wish you’d hold my hand once more…after a very long time. There’s so much more that we could still uncover about each other if only we’ll look harder, if we try to be more open, honest and true.

I thank God for you, our child, our life, for love, for pain that allowed us to see more clearly, for everything that made us what we are now. I love you still, whether you still love me or not.”

DEAR Drew,
Thank you for sharing with us the deepest feelings and longings of your heart. I am sure that a lot of our married readers will be able to identify themselves with you and your husband in one way or another. I liked what you said that if all couples who fail each other should just split, then nobody should get married in the first place because we are all imperfect human beings.

They say that falling in love is a challenge, as what happens when two lovers put their love to the test because of opposition from the family, unfaithfulness, career conflicts, temptations, distance and many other reasons.  I say that staying in love is an even greater challenge or maybe, the greatest challenge of being in an intimate relationship. After many years, the tricky part is not just about sustaining the fire of youth’s passion but more importantly, about nurturing the relationship.  Partners must be able to help each other experience their fulfillment as individual persons. People who unconditionally decide to love each other are likely to stay together longer than those who simply rely on emotions that could easily fade as their partners become older and less physically attractive.

Drew, in our day and age where “forever” seems to be far from reach, I am hoping that you and your husband will remain true to yourselves and continue loving one another in the eternal bond of marriage.
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An honest wife’s open letter to her husband
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Dear Joe, I was about to let my husband go, to call it quits.  I wanted to save the little self-esteem I had left.  I believed that my husband...


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